I have written before about how I struggle a little bit in the “life skills” department. You know, paying bills, replying to emails, settling fines and filling in forms. The crux of it is that I just hate doing it and I’m not very good at making myself do things I don’t want to. I’m really good at enjoying life – great at it, in fact. I’m relaxed and love to cook and I make time for leisure. But the day to day admin that results in us actually having money and a roof over our head? Not so much.
J and I had a laugh recently when we read an article about an Australian man who had been very successful in business and when asked one of his secrets to success, he mentioned that his wife ran absolutely everything on the home front. So not only with the kids and school and everything but paying all the bills and controlling the finances. “She ran a tight ship,” he said, mentioning how he had an allotted amount of pocket money each week. We were reading the article together and I saw J flick me the amused side eye at one point and knew exactly where he was up to. “Yeah, yeah, I run a really loose ship!” (I’d like to see me try to give J a weekly spending limit!)
If all that stuff were left up to me the electricity would be going out constantly. I just can’t get it together with that stuff, although I am trying. I’m getting better at using the calendar on my phone (by better, I mean a level that normal people would still probably scoff at) and I do seem to find myself in less and less self-induced stressful situations than before. But lately, I’m blaming the move, I have had a whole HOST of them to deal with and am feeling pretty shit about myself!
Firstly there was the parking fine I received on the day of the move, which I lost, and can’t get a reminder because all our mail was still going to our old address. Okay, fine, I can go to the old apartment and check the mail. Annoying but fixable. Then there was the OTHER fine I got for driving in the right hand lane (!?). Seems I have missed the due date on that one and now have to wait two months for a court order! Which I have just done a whole heap of research on and seems like it is actually just a small additional fine but SERIOUSLY! Why couldn’t I just have paid it!!??
I also missed the cut off date for filling in a whole heap of forms for schools Heike is applying to (she starts Kindy in August!) which led to me having to tell some white lies to make sure she could still attend interviews (please remind me to write a WHOLE other post on interviews!). GAH!
The thing that is REALLY getting me down is Heike’s ballet. She was desperate to start last year so we signed up and she seemed to be enjoying it. But she missed a few weeks due to sickness, then one week we got stuck in such bad traffic that we missed it, and then suddenly she hated it and refused to participate week after week. Then we had to miss more classes with Thailand and moving, and now here we are with the concert next week and they are saying she can’t do it because she has missed too many classes. And what’s more, she doesn’t WANT to do it, she “hates” it, and I genuinely don’t think she is a ballet girl (I can tell you she is never doing classes again unless they are self funded!).
The worst thing is, I paid for the concert, and two tickets, when all was fine and happy and going well. It was $1000HK (just under $200 AUD) including the costumes and everything, and it just bloody sucks! I feel like I am throwing money down the drain all the time just because of my own disorganisation, and maybe inability to be a bit strict. I mean, should I force her to do the concert? I think that sucks, when she hasn’t been doing the classes, it just opens her up to feeling embarrassed and scared. Should I punish myself for being so frigging dumb?! Probably, yes. Suggestions for appropriate punishments welcome.
I feel like I am always trying to do the right thing. And I am always run off my feet and exhausted. So why am I never getting it right?! And how much worse am I going to be with another small person in my care?!
Any organisation tips for me from organised people? J has told me he always actions anything as soon as it arises if he knows it will take 5 minutes or less (e.g. paying a fine. Yes.) Otherwise he puts it on his to-do list. I need one of those, right?